Decoding Feigned Empathy
by Razorblade Mistress
Summary: -Friend: (noun) A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.- (Analysis of the generally deemed "friendship" between Hisoka and Illumi. Twoshot.)
1. Hisoka

**A/N:**** I was skeptical about posting this, mostly since I'm aware that these "ramblings" are not at all apt to most readers' tastes, but in the end I couldn't resist. This is part one of a "twoshot". The next chapter (which will be written and posted later) being an analysis of Illumi's relationship to Hisoka where this first chapter is Hisoka's relationship to Illumi. When I say "analysis", I suppose I mean exactly that. There is no real "plot" here (once again).**

**Anyway, I'm technically dedicating this twoshot to _Ria D'Arcy_, who was the one that encouraged me to write this. Hopefully I do not disappoint.**

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If ever there should have been one who was more self-serving and self-indulgent than any other and within their own enigmatic and cryptic lifestyle, certainly the title would fall upon none other than Hisoka. His background was questionable if not entirely inaccessible. His words came as constant whimsical fallacies to, as far as one could reasonably suppose, simply act upon the _whim_ to be deceitful for the _sake_ of being deceitful.

The exception to this still fairly vague presumption, of course, unveiled itself in the form of expression through violent behaviors and subsequent, sexually-charged gratification. Naturally, this was not an uncommon dynamic as far as a mere glance toward typical homicidal tendencies would prove. Often, quite explicit specifications were required to be met in order for the general "predator" to reach his sought after "release", speaking on a broad and impersonal level.

As far as Hisoka was concerned, half the fun was in the journey. The world was full of those with potential in one regard or another, but this was hardly enough to peak his interest. The true climax (as far as an active thrill could be considered) existed predominantly within those whose potential revealed a distinct and promising probability to "ripen" the individual(s) into combatants with a skill set which met his own.

Despite the possible redundancy in admitting so, it was understandable that Hisoka followed a path of underhanded solidarity as opposed to seeking actual enrichment through the sociable company of others.

The exception in this instance was his questionable relationship (often oversimplified from the outside as "friendship") with professional assassin, Illumi Zoldyck.

Their origins, while unclear, certainly found convenience within different elements of each other. With Hisoka, the exchange could have been as transparent as having discovered yet another qualified competitor with whom to engage in grisly, obsessive, and ultimately fatal combat; one that did not need an admittedly indiscriminate amount of time to develop his potential. The original deviation from his own half conscious formula was triggered by the unsatisfying lack of expression that Illumi displayed. He was so outwardly dispassionate about his reactions toward pain and killing that it was unlikely that he would really fight with the aggravated vigor that the jester so eagerly sought.

The second hindrance revealed itself in the form of the Zoldyck's actual talents. In fact, it was _more_ beneficial to resist temptation and meanwhile allow him to thrive… at least until he had noticeably exhausted his use as a foreseeable convenience. This train of thought proved rewarding upon his desire to slink away undetected from the Genei Ryodan in order to pursue his true target, Kuroro, whilst Illumi proved worthy as an authentic stand-in.

The final thought on the matter was unarguably the most enticing, and it linked almost directly to the first. There was of course an instinctive, unapologetic sense of desire to conclusively lure Illumi into the same lethal situation he would never hesitate to impose upon anyone else deemed worthy. Perhaps with time and practiced patience, he would discover an appropriate _trigger _to set him off… One powerful enough to awaken a fixated contempt and preoccupied loathing that would doubtlessly coerce him to express these emotions to the fullest of their capacities. How fulfilled the magician might be then, shamelessly able to relive the encounter over and over until his body overflowed with excitement in its inability to restrain itself any further…

There was as well a small, but concrete consideration which also burdened him ever so slightly, simply in the form of his own subconscious egotism; it was possible, though perhaps not definite, that he could potentially _lose _this much anticipated battle. Would engaging in such amplify this raging excitement, or register as utter carelessness on his personal behalf, to his own self? Was part of the _quality_ as far as the anticipation of his ultimate test of patience simply _not knowing_, and waiting in a passionate, restless frenzy until that familiar, ideal moment presented itself so beautifully? Was conceivably self destructive deviance reasonably accountable?

Yes, of course it was… it _all_ was.

The concept of breaking the Zoldyck revealed itself as both infinitely difficult and remarkably obvious. Initially there had appeared almost no possible factor to the equation in which Illumi would expose even the slightest vulnerability… until the answer, Hisoka realized, had been there all along.

_Killua_.

Yes, of course! Killua was the key to cracking his opponent, wholly and completely. This was the chance he had for so long, eagerly awaited…

…But would killing Killua simply to rouse Illumi be the _most_ beneficial cuisine to feed the songs of his own screaming impulses? Perhaps there was more to ponder as far as this orgasmically tempting possibility. For now, he would remain dormant, at least until he decided which course of action played best into his willing hands…

After all, one must opt to keep their friends close and their enemies much, _much_ closer. That was _the way_… and far be it from Hisoka to ignore his _own_ superlative advice and flesh-made animal instincts.


	2. Illumi

Supposing that Hisoka's intentions could be simplified as prominently self-centered and moved by his own greed and lust for battle, Illumi's could be considered far less self-aware comparatively. Having thrived twenty four years in a world of general estrangement from human society, it was safe to assume that the magician was in all likelihood the only individual with whom the eldest Zoldyck sibling actively involved himself with (outside of the blood of his kin or contracted clients).

The elements of their relationship were far less cut and dry to one who did not ever seek any iteration of intimacy through conversation or even the simple company of the presence of another. Of course this was at once quite as unconscious as it was entirely conscious to Illumi, who had been wired since birth to avoid pursuing the interest of fulfillment through friendly affection. Naturally this set the stage for an essentially linear road on which to relate to his existence, safely disconnected from the potential distraction of something as trivial and unnecessary as human acquaintanceship.

Yet somehow or other, the meticulous programming of his elders did not serve to effectively isolate him, as of course he had ultimately found _some sort_ of convenience in Hisoka. He could not reasonably identify _what_ precisely this convenience was rooted in, but indeed it existed as clearly as the multitude of concepts to have inheritably befallen him in the past which he had never questioned too deeply either.

The advantage to this uncertain "convenience" revealed itself during a time in which his personal goals actually opposed that of his family. Without the willing aid of his kin to assist him, there was fortunate value to be established through his questionable connection to Hisoka. After all, there was honestly no one else he had so much as spoken to beyond the reach of the Zoldyck estate that did not otherwise simply remain within the limits of employment, which hardly counted whatsoever.

Inwardly, and either subconsciously or almost fully unconsciously, there was a strange and obscure contentedness to this arrangement. His mortal coil, which remained purposely locked behind the same wall that maintained distance between his ambitions and his forbidden self, could not in fact deny the animal need to be associated with entities other than simply his own psyche. If ever he had truly felt the pangs of devastation in his own solitude, the effects were long forgotten and dismissed by his notably responsive self. Rather to say that the more profound, latent region of his instinctual reflexes sought the rationally prohibited reward of sociable company.

This was however, not to be mistaken for "trust"; whether by definition or simply by concept. On the contrary, there was a sort of phantom reaching for physical imminence in terms of proximity (speaking in terms _entirely isolate_ of sexuality). There was already too strong of an association with the follies of vulnerability for even the most inaccessible portions of himself to properly crave. No, Hisoka was a convenience merely because there had never been any other before him. Most probably, there would be no other after, either…

Instead it was perhaps secretly and rebelliously gratifying enough to quietly and subliminally defy his own sense of self without particularly understanding that he was actually defying his sense of self at all.

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**A/N:**** So, this officially ends the twoshot analysis. As a side note, thank you to "HunterXZain" for your reviews of both this story and "Nurturing Control" (I tried to PM you to express this, but you have PM turned off). :P  
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**...And of course thank you to anyone else who has read this or reviewed XD  
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